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August 2010

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mohavedatura in advice_rehash

Words of a Seven Year-Old

Dear Annie: Three years ago, our 7-year-old granddaughter saw her mother kissing another man and told her father (our son). My question is: Was she right to tell him, or should she have spoken to her mother first?

This granddaughter's actions created a situation in her family that no child should have to endure. She still feels guilty about exposing her mother's affair. When she told our son, he did not react appropriately and lashed out at the child, as well as his wife. The family is still together, but my granddaughter suffers from stress and anxiety whenever our son reacts to the situation, which he still does on occasion.

So, Annie, what would have been the best thing for this child to do when she caught her mother cheating? — Concerned Grandparent

Dear Grandparent: There is no "right" answer. The child was too young to do anything other than what she did, and your son was too blindsided to react in a way that would have been less damaging. However, since Dad is still unable to control himself in front of his daughter and she is suffering, please urge the entire family to get into counseling. He should ask the pediatrician for a referral to someone who can specifically help his child. It's long past time.

I've officially lost my faith in humanity.


Making your child suffer like that is far more disgusting to me than any affair could ever be. Geez, what is wrong with people? I'm angry at the dad, I'm angry at the mom and I'm angry at the Grandparent who is ASKING ENTIRELY THE WRONG QUESTION.

I sincerely hope this poor little girl someday gets the opportunity to know that at no point ever did she bear any responsibility for the fact that she apparently comes from a family of jerkfaces. What kind of heartless heel can look at their grandchild suffering and ask for advice on how to victim blame her some more?
It's kind of silly to write and ask about what she should have done. It's clearly not going to change anything. And she's clearly not responsible because she was SEVEN.